Heartbreak Policy
by Rainbowpoptartcat
Summary: Lucy, the Queen of Heartbreaks, is told to bestow her Heartbreak Policy on one very unlucky soul, Natsu Dragneel. He broke her friend's heart, that was motivation enough. But once she gets to know him, will Lucy be able to break his heart?
1. Synopsis

_Synopsis: Chapter 0_

Step One: Make the target notice you, whether he's polite or an absolute dickhead.

Step Two: Be persistent . Don't let him forget your name.

Step Three: Make him jealous. Whether it be by talking or making out with another guy, make him protective of you.

Step Four: Make him fall in love with you. Maybe even do the deed with him for some extra points.

Step Five: Don't fall in love with him.

The process of breaking somebody's heart is very simple, in reality. You just need patience, and a lot of it. Lucy has broken many hearts over her high school career, and this just might be her last.

 **( • ~ • )**

 **New story guys, but I won't be updating for a bit until school's over, then I'll have a schedule to keep up with during the summer.**

 **Anyway, this is just a synopsis, I'll officially start in a couple weeks.**

 **See you later, my Poptarts~**


	2. Chapter One

Chapter One

 **Okay, I know what you all are thinking. "Wow, that was a short break."**

 **I'm still on break, trust me, but I'm in a rare mood that I actually** ** _want_** **to write and I actually** ** _have_** **inspiration. This doesn't mean I'm updating regularly. Updates for any of my stories will be sporadic until further notice.**

 **Anyway, I had half of this chapter prepared before my break started and I decided to finish it :)**

 **( • ~ • )**

"He did what?!" I slammed my hand down on the lunch table, anger pulsing through my veins.

Lisanna sniffles in response, tears rolling down her cheeks in a steady stream while my best friend Levy rubs her back. "A-At the party on Friday I got drunk and we ended up doing…it. I d-did it because I liked him but when I-I woke up he was gone. I asked him about it this morning and h-he said it was just a one night stand."

She started crying harder and my face heated up with resentment toward the one and only, Natsu Dragneel. He was notorious for being the "bad boy" of Magnolia High. Smoking, drinking, banging girls without a care in a world about anybody's feelings, I didn't have a problem about him playing girls, but he messed with my friend and I'm out for blood.

I stood abruptly and started towards his table, but Levy held me back. "Lu, it's not worth it; nothing to get suspended for." She said, sitting me back at our table.

"So we're supposed to just let it happen?" I yelled.

Levy shook her head, her arm still around Lisanna's shoulders. "I'm not saying we should sit back and do nothing. I have an idea." A grin crept onto her face.

"Really?" Lisanna asked, still sniffling.

"What is it?" I leaned in, my curiosity piquing.

"Lucy, it's time for the HP," Levy declared.

My eyes widened and a smirk appeared on my face. "The HP has helped us many times before, hasn't it?"

A devious smile was painted on Lisanna's face as well. I looked at both of them, making a silent agreement. Nodding, I clapped my hands. "Alright, step one of HP starts today."

We immediately began planning, from how I'll "conveniently" bump into him, to our first date, to how we're going to crush his ice cold heart. The planning was going well, until something that Levy said threw me for a loop.

"No! I'm not going to use Gray for Step Three; he's one of my best friends. I'm not going to hurt him that way."

"But Lucy," Levy whined, "He'll be an easy target considering he has a crush on you. You can just talk to him about it and tell him your plans."

"Did you forget that Gray is Natsu's best friend? He won't want to do that to him." I explained, sipping on my smoothie I had made before I left home.

Levy sighed as Lisanna said, "Lucy's right, Lev. This isn't worth risking a whole friendship."

"Fine," Levy relented. "How about Sting? He's pretty easy to get with."

I thought for a moment, considering the suggestion. He would be pretty easy to flirt with since he's slept with almost all the girls in our grade. Plus, we have a history. He was one of the other people we implemented the HP on, as he almost forced Levy into bed with him.

"We'll keep step three open for now until the time comes," I commented.

Levy nudged me with her elbow. "Lu, now's your chance, he's getting up from his table. Bring your smoothie and 'accidentally' spill it on him." The tactic was perfect, as he's wearing a white V-neck, which you could almost see his abs through. Plus, my smoothie is a purple color, so it'll stain. Bonus points.

I nodded and got up with my smoothie in hand, walking perpendicular to where his destination was. Once I was tight in front of him I tipped my smoothie over while elbowing him in the chest, making the fruity liquid spill down his shirt. His abs were even more visible now and I had to refrain from looking at them.

"What the fuck?!" He screamed, pulling at his drenched shirt that was turned purple.

"Oops, didn't see you there. My bad." I told the fuming male. I stared at my smoothie cup in disdain. It was a really good smoothie.

"Well maybe you should get some fucking glasses, you walked right into me!" He was still screaming in my face, creating a scene that made all the people in the cafeteria want to watch.

"Okay, I need you to take it from a ten to a five because there is no reason to be yelling at me," I said, raising an eyebrow.

" _No reason_?" He starts with a deadly calm voice. "No fucking reason?! You spilled your damn drink on my _white_ shirt and you think I shouldn't be yelling at you?"

I snickered in amusement. "You should've watched where you're going considering there are other people than you in this building."

He narrowed his eyes. "You're lucky I don't hit girls."

I felt my eye twitch in annoyance. "Ignoramus," I muttered, clenching and unclenching my fists.

"What was that, bitch?" He took a step closer.

"Considering you have an IQ of a rat's ass I doubt you would understand. I'm sure you've burned a few brain cells smoking."

"You don't know who you're messing with."

I took a step closer, our faces merely inches apart as we had an intense stare off. "You don't know who you're messing with either. Trust me, after all you've done I wouldn't be surprised if somebody were to get some payback. You have another thing coming."

I flipped my blonde hair over my shoulder and strutted away, my heels clicking on the tile. Grabbing my stuff, I nodded to my friends and we all walked out of the cafeteria with everybody staring at us, including Natsu, who was still glaring holes into the back of my head.

Step One, complete.

 **( • ~ • )**

 **And the story begins ;)**

 **Not sure how long it's gonna be, but there will be tons of story cushion as they get to know each other, furthering their relationship.**

 **I guess it's not really fillers…then…**

 **Anyway, instead of my goal of 1,500 words per chapter, for this story it'll be 1,000 because I'll be able to have more charters out. 500 words less is a huge difference writer-wise.**

 **Till next time, See you later, my Poptarts~**


	3. Chapter Two

Chapter Two

 **I know I haven't updated in a month, but this is kinda what I warned you about xD**

 **Not to mention that school starts tomorrow for me. So updates will be even rarer. I sowwie :'(**

 **But hey, I'll update when I can and have inspiration. Which has been a lot lately :)**

 **( • ~ • )**

"You almost blew the whole plan!" Levy chastised.

"I know, I know. I'm sorry!" I sighed, rubbing my face with my hands.

The scene didn't go as planned, but in my opinion it couldn't have been better. I do admit that my last mini monologue could've ruined things completely and I felt bad about it. He pushed my buttons and I'm a no nonsense type of person. Mess with me and you get the horns.

Levy, Lisanna, and I were walking towards my locker when Gray fell into step beside me.

"What was that all about?" He asked.

Shaking my head, we reached my locker and I unlocked it, grabbing some things for my next classes. "Nothing important. He has a very punchable face but I didn't want to break a nail. So ruining his shirt was the next best thing."

A smile crept on his face as he scratched his head. "He did kinda deserve it, so I don't blame you."

"They don't seem to think so," I said, nodding my head towards the girls.

"You wonder why," Lisanna mumbled. I glared at her.

"So," Gray started. "I was wondering if you wanted to hang out sometime?"

I felt my cheeks getting warmer but I smiled nonetheless. "Sure, how about Friday?"

He grinned showing his pearly whites and said, "Great, I'll text you the time. See you in Chemistry." I waved as he walked down the hall.

I turned to see Levy narrowing her eyes at me and Lisanna swooning about "how cute a couple we would be."

"I thought you said you didn't have feelings for him," Levy stated, crossing her arms over her chest.

I bit my lip. "I said I wasn't sure."

"Don't lead him on while you have HP going with Natsu. It's not worth losing a friendship." Levy said. Her boyfriend, Gajeel, crept behind her and kissed her cheek, making her cheeks tinge red.

"Says the person who came up with the idea in the first place." I mumbled as Gajeel dragged her away.

Lisanna smiled at me. "Levy's right, but there's no problem with finding out how you feel. If it feels wrong, stop it. Okay?" I nodded and she waved as she left. I leaned against my locker and sighed.

What am I getting myself into?

 **( • ~ • )**

I was sitting in my English class tapping my desk with a pencil. There had been an announcement from last week that we were getting a creative writing project. I was hoping it wasn't partner required because I knew exactly what would happen since Natsu was in the same class.

"Alright class, as you know, we have a creative writing project to start working on. And you all will have assigned partners." The class groaned, me included.

"Okay, partners are Gajeel and Sting, Levy and Lisanna, Natsu and Lucy..."

God fucking damn it.

Soon as she said that, I snapped my pencil in half with a scowl on my face. It caught the attention of the whole class and they stared at me. I glanced around and most of them looked scared.

The teacher raised an eyebrow and asked, "Is there a problem, Lucy?"

My eye twitched as I grabbed another pencil from my bag. I looked back at her with a strained smile. "Not at all." The pencil snapped in my hand again and I rolled my eyes. The teacher returned calling partners.

I know I should be happy that this is making my job slightly easier, but I didn't want to spend any unnecessary time with him. It's bad enough I have to deal with him for the next few months or so.

In my peripheral vision I saw Natsu glaring at me from across the room. I chose not to acknowledge him.

Once the teacher explained the project in more detail, she let us get to work with our partners. I wasn't going to walk over there and shed the little bit of dignity I had, so I stayed seated and began writing.

We had to create a narrative in a first person perspective with a character experiencing an important moment in their lives.

I didn't really think, I just wrote.

A tiny part of me hoped my teacher wouldn't catch on to the hidden emotions laced in my words.

Towards the end of the class, Natsu walked up to me with his arms crossed. "Are we gonna do the project or what?"

Without looking at him I finished writing the last few words and out my pencil down. "It's already done, so you can edit it if you want, add some things here and there."

He rolled his eyes and grabbed the paper off my desk. As he walked away, the bell rang and I packed my stuff and left.

I guess I don't have only the teacher to worry about.


	4. Chapter Three

Chapter Three

I haven't seen Natsu in two days.

I wasn't worried by any means, I was just curious about wherever he ran off to. Plus, we had to turn in our story we wrote on Monday and he still had it. I stabbed my salad with enough force to make lettuce fly around me and I felt my eye twitch in anger. Levy raised an eyebrow and Lisanna handed me some napkins.

"What's wrong, Lu?" Levy asked cautiously.

"Natsu hasn't been in school for two days and he still has our story that's due today. Where the _fuck_ is he?"

I ended up stabbing my salad again, and it must've punctured the plastic bowl because salad dressing started oozing on the table. I used the napkins Lisanna gave me and cleaned it up, throwing the food away. Taking an orange out of my bag, I heard Lisanna say, "I think I saw him by the gym earlier. He was smoking or something."

My eyes widened and I clenched my jaw. Throwing my orange behind me, which was supposed to go in the trash but considering there was a cry of pain I think I hit somebody. But I barely heard it as my mind was clouded with anger and only one person on my mind.

Apparently, he was at the gym, leaning against the wall smoking without a care in the world. I stormed up to him and crossed my arms with an eyebrow raised.

"Can I help you?" He asked, turning his head and blowing smoke out of his mouth.

"Where were you these past two days?"

"Miss me?" He smirked.

"Hell no, I'm just wondering what you did with our story that is due today."

"I still have it, stop worrying."

"Were you planning to turn it in third period or embarrass me in front of the whole class?"

"I was thinking about it."

"And have you done enough thinking?"

"Enough to want some answers."

I narrowed my eyes. "About what?"

He crossed his arms. "What was that story about?"

"You read it. A girl lost her mom which I'm sure everybody's read a story about. Not that complicated."

"It seemed a little more personal than that. Like you actually know how it feels to lose someone close to you."

My fists clenched. "Everybody's lost someone at some point. I lost my grandma when I was five. So what?"

He looked at me for a long time, searching my eyes until he shook his head and walked behind me. "Why do you even care?" I said, turning around to face his back.

He stopped walking for a second. "I don't." Then he walked back in school.

I stared after him, my heart beating fast for some reason. I'm sure it was because of the fact that he read in between the lines.

At least that's what I hoped it was.

 **( • ~ • )**

He wasn't there.

He wasn't in _fucking_ third period.

So when the teacher asked where our story was, I said it was with my absentee partner, and she gave us an F for unpreparedness. For the rest of the class I had a scowl on my face. My head was aching as well, so I knew a migraine was coming up, I just didn't know when.

Levy and Lisanna tried to cheer me up after my first F ever by taking me out to eat, but I barely talked the whole time. So when they dropped me off at home, they knew I wanted to be alone.

I walked up the stairs and headed for my dad's room. He was laying there under the covers with an IV hooked into his arm, his breathing fast, hitching every inhale.

Walking over to him I set my bag by his bed and he looked up at me and smiled. I smiled sadly back and helped him sit up, grabbing his medicine from the container. I handed him the pills and a glass of water that was on his nightstand. He swallowed the pills while I sat down next to him. "How was school?" He asked.

I told him about my day and let him rest some more by helping him lay back down and leaving the room with my bag. The pain in my head radiated to my neck and temples, throbbing with my heartbeat. Usually my headaches come about a week before I have a migraine, but this time I was completely unprepared for it. I felt like throwing up, and the room was spinning around me.

When I walked down the stairs I tripped over my foot and fell head first, blacking out as soon as I hit the hard wood floor at the bottom.

 **( • ~ • )**

 **I didn't reach my 1000 word goal this time, but I didn't want to add anything after this because it might be going at a faster pace than I want. But hey, early update :D**

 **So you learned a good amount about Lucy this chapter. You don't know exactly what's wrong with Lucy's dad, but you'll find out eventually ;)**

 **If you're still reading this and haven't left, why don't you leave a review and tell me what you think?**

 **See you later, My Poptarts~**


	5. Chapter Four

Chapter Four

 **Ooh, update two days in a row. I'm on a roll with the inspiration :D**

 **Without further ado, here's chapter four.**

 **inb4 I update two months from now.**

 **Let's hope not.**

 **( • ~ • )**

There was beeping.

I reached under my head and grabbed the pillow that was underneath me and smashed it against my ear. It muffled the sound, but I could still hear. Every time it beeped I felt an ache in my head.

"Lucy?"

I cracked open my eyes and immediately closed them when I felt a sharp pain course through them. Wherever I was, it was extremely bright and white around me.

"Sorry about that." I heard the flick of a switch and a press of a button. Relief poured into me and I sighed in gratefulness, slowly opening my eyes to see my dad in a chair next to my bed, an IV still stuck in his arm.

"Where am I?" My voice was hoarse and I started coughing. Dad handed me a glass of water and I thanked him and gulped it down.

"You're in the hospital, Lucy. You should've told me you had a migraine and I would've gave you your medicine."

He had to give me my medicine as it is pretty addictive and I overdosed on it before. Having your stomach pumped isn't fun. I waved him off and sat up in my bed. "You don't have to worry about me. How'd you know I fell anyway?"

"I heard some tumbling and your bag fall to the floor, so I called the ambulance."

"How long have I been out?"

"Three days."

I gaped at him. There's no way I've been out for that long. If it's Saturday then...

Damn it! I was supposed to hang out with Gray yesterday. I groaned and slumped in my bed. "Why was I out for that long?"

"You had a pretty bad concussion from hitting your head on the floor. Maybe I should sleep in a room downstairs and you take the other so we won't have this happen again."

I smiled. "We can do that. I'll move your clothes and stuff to the room when we go home. So did anyone visit?"

"A few actually. Levy and Lisanna came by, along with Gray. Although, a pink-haired fellow came by as well. Care to tell me who he is?"

My cheeks heated up as I twiddled my thumbs. "That's Natsu. Why would he visit me?"

"Said something about an English project. Know what that's about?"

I scowled at the mention of my failed assignment. My temper flared but I tried to smile. "Yeah, I'll talk to him on Monday."

 **( • ~ • )**

I looked in the mirror as I straightened out my white shirt and black skirt. It felt nice to be dressed up, classic black heels and all. I braided my hair too which fell to my waist.

It was Monday, and even though I hated Mondays, I had to look nice for my "return" even though I was only gone for two days. I also had to talk to Natsu today. There won't be much talking, as I'll be chewing him out for making me fail our assignment.

When I got to school, I was actually smiling for once, happy I'd see my friends again. People greeted me and asked how I was when I walked by, on the way to my locker. I guess they heard about my recent hospital visit.

Right when I got to my locker I was attacked by Levy and Lisanna with hugs and my chest smashed into the lockers. "Guys, what the hell! Now my boobs hurt." I pouted once they released me from their death grip.

"At least you have boobs," Levy muttered with a gloomy aura around her. Lisanna and I stepped back as she started mumbling things to herself.

"So how are you? We haven't seen you since we visited the hospital, even though you couldn't talk to us."

I chuckled at the last part. "I'm fine, better than I felt before, definitely." Levy walked up to us when I turned to my locker. Once I opened it, a piece of paper fluttered onto the floor. The girls immediately started gushing.

"Is that a _secret admirer_ note?"

"Gajeel never did that for me!"

"You guys both have boyfriends," Lisanna mumbled. Levy and I looked at her weirdly.

"Guys, it's not a secret admirer note and I _don't_ have a boyfriend."

"Then what does it say?" Levy asked, both of them inching forward.

Rolling my eyes, I opened it.

 _Meet me at the gym during lunch._

 _-N_

"Who the hell is N?!" Lisanna screeched. I clamped a hand over her mouth as people shot us odd looks.

Of course I knew exactly who it was, but I wasn't going to tell them that. They would freak out and think I have a crush on him.

Which I don't.

"It's nobody. Come on, we have to get to class."

 **( • ~ • )**

The first two classes flew by, and it was lunch time. I was sitting at our table as Levy and Lisanna gossiped. Whilst eating my pasta, I saw Natsu waving at me from across the cafeteria. Luckily, my friends were facing away from him so they wouldn't ask questions. I packed up my lunch and grabbed my stuff, telling the girls I had to talk with a teacher about something.

I walked over to the gym and spotted Natsu standing there, leaning against the same wall. He smirked when he saw me, and stood up with his hands in his pockets.

"What did you want to talk about?" I asked when I stopped in front of him.

"Haven't seen you around lately. Just wanted to talk."

"As you probably heard, I was in the hospital."

"Are you feeling okay?"

I was taken aback by the question, as he actually seemed concerned about my wellbeing. "I'm fine, just a headache."

"A headache that you went to the hospital for?"

"So, I heard you visited me at the hospital." I said, changing the subject.

His cheeks tinged pink and he scratched his head. "Yeah, I just wanted to apologize about Wednesday."

I narrowed my eyes. "The project you bailed on? It's all good."

"Really?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah. It wasn't like it was my first F, or worth thirty percent of our grade."

"You're pissed."

"Not like you care, since you can't even give me a reason as to why you ditched class _right after_ I saw you."

"Lucy-"

"Don't Lucy me. I fucking failed because of you! Do you know how my grade will be affected? How my dad-" My voice trailed off.

"Your dad what?" He asked, stepping closer to me.

I stepped back and shook my head. "It doesn't matter. You don't care anyway." With that, I walked away. Secretly smiling to myself.

Step Two, complete.

 **( • ~ • )**

 **Considering how fast this is going, this story will be shorter than my other ones.**

 **So I've noticed I have a few silent readers. You guys reading is enough, but if you could give me some feedback as to how you're liking the story or maybe you think it's going a bit too fast, you could always drop a review. Which would mean a lot to me :)**

 **No pressure of course, but I want to make my writing better and the story more entertaining so you guys will keep being interested. So just let me know :)**

 **See you later, My Poptarts~**


	6. Chapter Five

Chapter Five

 **Thank you guys so much for all the feedback! I'll definitely implement some of the ideas you guys had, including backgrounds for the characters, less time skips and more descriptions.**

 **Welcome to chapter five ;)**

 **( • ~ • )**

It's been about two weeks since I walked away from him, and he hasn't said one thing to me.

I don't know what I did wrong. Was he expecting me to keep begging him for attention like all his other conquests? Or did he simply not care? I thought I had completed step two but it looks like there's still work to be done. Why was he so hard to figure out?

I had caught him staring at me during lunch and English, but he would immediately look away as if he was scared of me or something. Ugh! This is so frustrating.

I stared at my oatmeal in dismay. The Policy has never failed me before, so why is this so difficult? Usually the guy, by now, would have been sitting with me at our lunch table, trying to get my friends' approval; which never happened, by the way. But this time, Natsu was hell-bent on avoiding me. Should I make the first move? Or…third?

Deciding I wasn't hungry, I put what was left of my breakfast into the garbage disposal and washed the bowl and spoon. Dad was still asleep, so I wanted to let him rest before the nurse came to do what she needed to do. Grabbing my bag, I slung it over my shoulder and stopped outside my front door, smiling at the picture of my mom and me when I was little. I kissed the tip of my fingers and tapped the glass of the frame and said, "See you later, mom."

I usually walk to school, because I hate riding my crowded bus and I don't have my driver's license. Luckily we only lived ten minutes away by foot so I wasn't all sweaty and gross by the time I got to school.

During the walk I looked around at the cars passing by and the wind rustling the leaves on the trees. Our house was pretty secluded because of how big it is, but we are semi-close to the main road I take. It was nice to have some alone time to think, especially now that I have to figure out what to do with Natsu. That boy drives me crazy.

We actually kind of have a history, involving a one-sided crush I had on him in middle school. It had lasted three years until I find out about his womanizing ways freshman year of high school. The crush diminished and I had forgotten about him for a while, occasionally hearing a thing or two about his latest "girlfriend."

Hearing about his conquests always made me angry, and not the jealous kind. I've harbored a slight resentment toward him since he publically humiliated a girl that surprisingly kept him around for about a month. He bluntly stated he got bored of her when she found him kissing some other girl. Just thinking about it made me want to punch him in his defined jawline.

I had reached the front of the school when I saw a crowd of people around two guys, one with unmistakable pink hair.

The other one was Sting, but who cares about him?

I rushed over to see what the fuss was about, and managed to hear what was happening. Sting was yelling at Natsu for sleeping with his girlfriend or some shit, which I wasn't even aware that he had one. It's surprising somebody could deal with him, 'cause Mavis knows I couldn't.

That's a story for another day.

Natsu was just standing there with his hands in his pockets saying that he didn't sleep with her and she wasn't even Sting's girlfriend. It's a wonder they couldn't soothe my curiosity by saying her name but whatever. I guess I need to talk to Natsu about sleeping with someone else's girlfriend. Even that was a new low for him.

I pushed through the ring of people that looked like they were doing some ritual and stood slightly diagonal behind Sting to the point where all Natsu had to do was look slightly to the left (or his right).

Luckily he saw movement behind his "attacker" and met my eye. I frowned and shook my head, signaling for him to stop this nonsense. He bit his lip with thought which looked…kinda sexy.

 _Shut up, Lucy._

Making his decision, he slightly nodded his head behind him and turned around, telling me to follow him as he escaped the crowd. There was a chorus of "boo's" and "chicken" calls but he ignored it as he headed for the building.

Understanding his intention, I headed outside the gym. This time he was sitting in the grass, leaning against the wall. I sat my stuff on the ground and slumped beside him, sighing. "So what was that all about?" I asked.

"I'm sure you heard some of it. Sting's just an idiot." He answered

"Agreed."

He looked at me. "Sounds like you guys have a lot of history."

I scoffed. "Yeah, quite a history. Dating for eight months and cheating on me with a fucking college student with the excuse of 'You wouldn't do anything with me.'"

He frowned at me and took a cigarette out of his pocket, lighting it with a red lighter. My eye twitched and I yanked it out of his hand and threw it on the ground, stomping on it. "Try not to kill yourself by smoking, it's such a pathetic way to go."

A moment passed and he asked, "Wanna go out with me?"

I swear my heart stopped.

My cheeks heated up and my eyes widened. Did I hear him correctly? I needed to figure out how to let him down easy, but part of me wanted to say yes.

Suddenly he burst out laughing, clutching his stomach as if he were in pain. "Y-You thought I was asking you o-out? I meant ditch class dumby. You're not my type."

I clenched my hands in frustration and embarrassment, but my heart swelled with disappointment. Maybe I wanted him to ask me out.

 _Gosh, what is wrong with me?_

"So do you want to?" He looked at me expectantly.

"Sure."

 **( • ~ • )**

 **Yes this story is going fast, and yes this story will be kinda short. Well, shorter than my others anyway.**

 **Let me clarify something for you. Lucy doesn't (or so she thinks) like Natsu. These are just stirred up feelings from the past. You know what they say; you always have feelings for your first love ;)**

 **See you later, My Poptarts~**


	7. Chapter Six

Chapter Six

 **I was going to post this tomorrow, but I finished my homework early and was bored so I decided to edit this :D**

 **Here's chapter six!**

 **( • ~ • )**

I knew exactly what I needed to do. About Natsu, I mean.

I came up with it while we were walking down the street, observing our surroundings. We didn't talk much but it was a comfortable silence. He said he had someplace in mind to go, and I didn't question him. Hopefully it's not a slaughter house.

I bit back a devious smile at my plan. This would hopefully speed the HP along quite nicely, and the fact that I was wearing a v-neck today that showed a generous amount of cleavage, I was beyond ready.

I know what you're thinking. No, I'm not gonna try and seduce him.

Not too much, anyway. If he wasn't at least attracted to me, how would I even begin to break his heart?

I slightly brushed my hand against his while they swayed next to each other, making him flinch enough for me to notice.

Hopefully he didn't notice my shudder.

I looked at him, and his face was scrunched up with thought. "Let me see your hand," I said, breaking him out of his reverie.

"W-What?"

I stopped walking and he turned around to face me. "Let me see your hand," I said again.

"Why?" He asked, confused.

I rolled my eyes and grabbed his hand, immediately surprised at how rough they felt. Looking at the lines that were engraved in his palms, I remembered what my mom told me about people's hands from some class she took when she was into fortunes. If the heart line begins in the middle, that means he falls in love easily. But instead, it curves and touches his life line, which means he's heart broken easily. Even better than I expected.

 **[A/N: Don't quote me on this, I looked this up on wikihow xd This may seem ridiculous, but he has a past that you guys don't know about and it's important to his character]**

Secretly smiling to myself, I muttered, "Hm, interesting."

"Interesting- wait what're you doing?"

I traced my finger lightly along the defined lines and slowly intertwined our hands. I felt him shudder under my touch, and my hand started tingling. They fit perfectly, and the unfamiliar feeling in my hand scared me.

I masked it by saying, "Nothing. Just testing something." I let go of his hand and walked around him, continuing down the sidewalk. I heard him call me a tease and I smirked in satisfaction. But that didn't calm my trembling hands.

I don't know why I'm feeling like this. I was supposed to be making him feel this way, but instead it's backfiring. I couldn't like him, could I?

With his womanizing past, I realized I haven't heard anything about his conquests for the past month, which is about the time I spilled my smoothie on him. Maybe he was trying to change, but why?

I shook my head and let out of gasp of surprise when I felt an arm snake around my waist. Natsu was pressed against my side, and he was looking straight ahead, knowing the effect he had on me.

Slightly lifting up my shirt with his thumb, he traced his finger along my bare skin. I bit back a giggle. Why did I have to be ticklish? Other than the fact that his finger felt incredibly good against my stomach...

He leaned down and I could feel his breath against my ear. "Payback," he whispered.

I shivered.

He smirked and removed his arm from my waist, casually whistling while walking ahead.

 _Tease_ , I thought.

About ten minutes later, we reached a small bakery named _Fairy Tail_. It looked quaint and cozy, tan brick lining the walls, most of it covered by windows and cute shrubbery and flowers beneath them.

I stared at the building in awe and Natsu chuckled beside me. I followed him inside and as I walked in the smell of freshly baked bread and cake wafted into my nose. I squealed and ran up to the glass case under the front counter that displayed a variety of cupcakes and pastries. I was in sweet heaven.

"Hey, Natsu! Nice to see you again!" I turned and was stunned by how pretty the cashier was. Her white locks fell down to her waist with a small ponytail atop her head. Crystal blue eyes that sparkled in the light.

"You're so pretty!" I slapped my hand over my mouth as she turned to me, embarrassment settling in as my cheeks grew warm.

She giggled. "Thanks. Natsu, introduce me to your girlfriend why don't you?"

"She's not my girlfriend. Mira, this is Lucy. Lucy, this is Mirajane."

"Nice to meet you, Mirajane." I said.

"Oh, call me Mira. And Natsu, are you sure you two aren't together? I can feel the sexual tension between you."

My face turned beet red and Natsu's did the same. "Lucy, go find a table, please." Natsu said.

I nodded without a word and took a seat by a window. I stared out of it, watching the cars ride by while sinking into my thoughts. Which immediately turned to Natsu.

 _God damn it._

I jumped when Natsu sat across from me, placing a red velvet cupcake in front of me, while putting two slices of bread, and oddly, hot sauce in front of him, but I decided not to mention it. Thanking him, I took it out of the paper and started eating.

It was _so_ good.

"Let's play a game."

I looked up at the pink-haired male and raised an eyebrow. "Such as?"

"Twenty questions." He stated.

"How cliché." I said, placing my half-eaten cupcake on a napkin.

He rolled his eyes. "Number one. What's your favorite color?"

"Pink. What's yours?"

"Red."

"And why's that?" I asked.

"I like fire. Number two. How many boyfriends have you had?"

I chuckled. "Aside from Sting, none, unless you count my kindergarten boyfriend. Number two. Any recent conquests?"

He scrunched his nose. "As in hookups? None, for the past month. Which is a record for me." He smirked.

I rolled my eyes. "Pig." I picked up my cupcake with both hands and took a bite out of it, purposefully squeezing my boobs together while slightly leaning over. I smirked when his eyes drifted down. "You got a little something there," I said, putting my cupcake down. I reached up and wiped the sauce from the corner of his mouth with my thumb. He froze under my touch and I smirked, wiping my hand with a napkin.

"It's getting late, we should leave." He stated after we sat in silence for a while.

I looked out the window and noticed the sun was already setting. How long had we been sitting here? It must've been a longer walk than I thought.

We both got up and threw our trash away, waving goodbye to Mira. Walking out the bakery, we started home. About half the way there, Natsu's arm snakes around my waist and played with the bare skin that was showing under my ruffled shirt. This time it didn't tickle, but it did send chills down my spine.

We were walking by a building when Natsu pushed me up against the brick wall with his hands on my hips.

"Fuck it," he whispered.

Then his lips crashed on mine.

 **( • ~ • )**

 **Don't you just love cliffhangers?**

 **I love writing them ;)**

 **What'd you guys think? Excited about the next chapter? Leave a review and tell me what you think ;)**

 **See you later, My Poptarts~**


	8. Chapter Seven

Chapter Seven

 **I'm on a roll with the updates :D**

 **This inspiration has lasted quite a while, and I'm hoping it stays ;)**

 **Enjoy!**

 **( • ~ • )**

I was shocked, to say the least.

More about how soft his lips felt against my own and how warm they feel. I hesitated, but I melted into the kiss, closed my eyes and kissed him back, making him let out a grunt of approval. Our breathing was erratic, and I let my hands trail up his arms and cradle his face, my fingers buried in his pink locks. He shifted so that he was even closer to me, if that was possible.

He squeezed my sides as he licked my lip, asking for entrance. I quickly opened my mouth a bit more, and moaned when his tongue met mine. My hands traveled further into his hair, tugging slightly, making him groan. The kiss was desperate and needy, like we've been waiting for this moment all our lives.

I've been waiting since sixth grade.

Natsu pulled back and placed kisses on my neck, trailing down to my collarbone. My breath hitched and I whimpered once he pulled away. I immediately pushed my lips into his again, begging for his touch.

Breaking the kiss, he rested his forehead on mine with his eyes closed, both of us trying to catch our breath. Fluttering my eyes closed, my hands fell around his neck. When I opened them again, he was staring at me intently. "Lucy," he started. "I...I like you."

My eyes widened at the three words I've been wanting to hear. My heartbeat picked up again and I felt butterflies in my stomach. "I-" he silenced me with a kiss, noticing how anxious I looked.

"You don't have to answer me now. Just think about it, okay?" I nodded and he smiled at me, grabbing my hand and intertwining our fingers. We continued walking down the street and I led him to where my house was. He looked at it in awe when we arrived and I laughed at his expression. "My dad used to be a businessman."

He nodded his head in understanding. I stood on my tip toes and placed my lips on his, and he responded promptly. It was slow and sweet, but equally as passionate as the last one. Stepping back, I bid him good night and walked inside, sighing in relief as I put my bag on the floor next to the door.

Thinking about the events that took place this evening, I groaned in frustration. This wasn't planned at all. The moment we shared stirred up feelings that I wanted, and needed to, forget, and me initiating things isn't how this was supposed to go.

The bad part is that I still want to kiss him, and the thought of breaking his heart seems sickening to me. I didn't want to do it, not anymore. Not even for Lisanna's sake.

I just hoped she would understand.

After the many times I've used the Policy, I've never grown feelings for any of the guys I was with. So why was he different?

Pushing the thoughts away, I headed upstairs to my dad's room to check on him. Opening the door, I froze.

He wasn't moving.

I ran up to him and checked his pulse. It was faint, and his breathing was harsh. I grabbed the house phone off the end table and called the ambulance, tears falling down my face in steady streams. After telling them what was going on, they told me they were on their way. I was still hysterical and the dispatcher was trying to calm me down, but it wasn't working. I kneeled next to the bed and held my dad's hand with my free one.

"Please don't leave me." I choked out.

 _Don't leave me like she did._

 **( • ~ • )**

There was beeping.

And this time, it wasn't for me.

I stared at the hospital bed where my dad lies, slouching in an uncomfortable plastic chair. There were bags under my eyes and a hole in my heart. He's been in the ICU for about a week now, which is how long I've been out of school. I've gotten numerous amounts of calls and texts from Lisanna and Levy, but I never answered. I was surprised that Natsu hasn't tried to reach out, but then I remembered I hadn't given him my number.

The nurses had assisted that I go home, but I've always waved them off. I didn't know how much time I had left with my dad, and I wasn't about to leave him when he needed me most.

They told me he was extremely dehydrated from his chemotherapy, which was caused by his diarrhea that he never told me about. He also had a very high fever, which I should've noticed when I checked his pulse, but didn't and failed to notify the dispatcher. Now they put him in a coma until his fever cools down so we won't run the risk of him having a seizure, which it has cooled down, but they're waiting for him to wake up.

 **[A/N: sorry if this is inaccurate at all, I did some research but I also added things that I though would make sense as well, sorry if it's wrong xd]**

My dad was one of the most successful businessmen in the country a few years ago. Some people hated him, most people wanted to work for him. But it all went downhill when my mother passed away in a car crash. Investigators suspected that it was a murder and therefore something was going on behind the scenes, but they never found who did it.

I guess they got what they wanted. My dad started smoking to his hearts content, dedicating himself to his work and let the maids and housekeepers take care of me. There were a few days when he would come home drunk and angry, and gave me a few slaps to the face. Those were the most difficult two years of my life.

Then came his lung cancer. It didn't help that he had asthma but the smoking only made his lungs worse than they already were. The media was shocked and so was I. His business began to deteriorate and eventually went bankrupt, and he was bedridden so he wouldn't cause his lungs any strain. I took the role as his caretaker since we couldn't afford to have any maids, which didn't bother me. But it was a little heartbreaking to see my mother figure, Miss Spetto, leave.

Now here we were. His life hanging by a thread and me here to witness it all.

All because of a fucking car crash.

I was broken out of my thoughts when my phone rang, and the ID showed that it was Levy. Sighing, I got up and left the room, answering the call. "Hello?"

 _"Lucy! Where have you been?! We've been worried sick about you."_

It warmed my heart a little to hear that. "I'm fine, I just had the flu and my phone broke." I faked a cough. Levy and Lisanna knew about my mom, just not my dad. I never found the courage to tell them; I didn't want to be treated differently.

 _"Phew, you scared us there for a second. So, Natsu's been asking about you lately." She teased._

"R-Really?" My cheeks grew warm.

 _"Yep, so when are you going to tell us about what happened between you two?"_

"I'll be back at school tomorrow."

 _"Good. See_ _you_ _then."_

I hung up the phone after saying goodbye and put it back in my pocket, walking back into the room. A nurse was in there and my dad was sitting up in his bed, awake.

My eyes widened and I ran over to him with opened arms, crushing him into a hug. His chest vibrated as he chuckled and I felt tears fall down my cheeks, wetting his hospital gown. He stroked my hair and kissed my head.

"Don't scare me like that again." I mumbled.

"I won't, sweetheart. I promise."

Promises were meant to be broken.

 **( • ~ • )**

 **You guys are probably gonna hate me, but there's gonna be a shit-show in the next few chapters. Be prepared ;)**

 **Tell me what you think by leaving a review!**

 **See you later, My Poptarts~**


	9. Choices, Choices

**Okay guys, I'm at a bit of a crossroads right now.**

 **I could either make this story a lot longer with some more plot and backstory, but downside is, it'll be a lot heavier with things involving emotions.**

 **Or I could just right this as originally planned. Downside it, there'll probably only be a few more chapters left.**

 **So I'll let you guys choose because I don't want to ruin the story for you. Leave a review with your choice :)**

 **See you later, My Poptarts~**


	10. Choices, Choices Part Two

**Okay, so I guess I wasn't too informative about the second option for a longer fic, so I'll give you a bit of a spoiler about what's going to happen.**

 **So, something bad was going to happen to Jude, which in turn makes Lucy act irrationally and do something stupid which would make someone else hurt her and would make her fall** ** _back_** **into a state of depression like she was when her mother died.**

 **Essentially, this option would be a more angst way of writing the story instead of the lighthearted version option one would be. So now you can re-vote, I guess, and I'll determine which way this will head.**

 **Keep in mind, I have other sort-of-angst stories such as** ** _A Loner's Light_** **and** ** _The Trial_** **(which I only have the first chapter of so far before I went on my brief hiatus) so I'm leaning more toward option one, but be sure to tell me what you think by leaving a review :)**

 **See you later, My Poptarts~**


	11. Chapter Eight

Chapter Eight

 **You guys wanted angst, imma show you angst ;)**

 **So I'm gonna give you guys a warning here, there is some sexual content (nothing like a lemon at all) but it's also a little sensitive because...well, you'll see. I'm hoping you catch my drift about what's going to happen.**

 **It's not a good thing either, and I hated writing it as much as you hate reading it, so I'm sorry in advance :)**

 **( • ~ • )**

I laid in bed, staring at the ceiling with my alarm clock blaring beside me.

With a heavy hand, I turned the noise off and continued to stare above me, blinking every few seconds. It's been hard getting out of bed the past week. I thought it was just the stress from my dad still being in the hospital, and it might be, but I don't really feel sad about the situation. I'm just sitting back, waiting for something to happen, and I know it's not going to be a good thing. It also doesn't help that Natsu's been playing the field again.

Last Monday when I went back to school, I was so emotionally drained that I told Natsu that I couldn't be in a relationship right now. Of course, I didn't tell him why when he asked, so I just said sorry and walked away with tears threatening to spill. I'm so physically and mentally drained that I just want to sleep. I'm just tired. Tired of everyone leaving me. Tired of people in general.

Thankfully today was Friday, and I have more time to spend with my dad, but he strictly made it so I wouldn't visit him today. He told me to take a break, stay home, and relax.

I might take him up on his offer.

Maybe I should skip school.

Turning around to face the wall, I fell back to sleep instantly.

I woke up a few hours later, still exhausted. I barely managed to get up and answer the phone that was incessantly ringing.

"Hello?" I said groggily.

 _"Lucy! Where the hell are_ _you?"_ It was Levy, of course.

"I wasn't feeling well, so I stayed home, like any normal person would." I rolled my eyes.

 _"Well I was calling to tell you about this party tonight, the ideal place to start step three."_ Right, HP with Natsu. It seemed so nonexistent now that we haven't been talking.

"I'm not up for it, so I'm gonna go back to sleep."

 _"You're going to this damn party if I have to drag you by your hair. This is the perfect time to make Natsu jealous."_

"The HP is fucking stupid, I have more important things to do than worry about some guy who Lisanna _willingly_ slept with because of a petty fucking crush." I regretted the words immediately after I said them. I didn't mean to snap at her, but pestering me to go to a party made me want to punch a wall.

The line went silent, and I bit my lip. "I'll uh, I'll go to the party." I hung up the phone and slammed it on the table. Slowly sinking to the floor, I slumped against the wall and pulled my knees to my chest. I rested my forehead on my thighs and choked back a sob.

 **( • ~ • )**

I stared at the girl in the mirror with tired eyes. I didn't even recognize her. Dark bags under her eyes that contrasted to her sickly pale skin. Blonde hair that was messy and lifeless. Her face skinnier than usual from not eating as much as she should.

Thank Mavis for makeup.

After assessing myself in the mirror, I took a shower and managed to gain some of the bounciness to my hair by washing it. Looking back into the mirror, I took out my makeup kit and started what would probably take an hour to do. First things first, I grabbed the concealer that matched my skin tone and brushed it over the visible, but faint scars on my wrist. It was painful to even look at them, but I got used to it after covering them up everyday. My dad doesn't even know this about me. It's not exactly something I would want to share to the world.

I was in a dark place after my mom died around seven years ago, and that's somewhere I don't want to be ever again.

After making myself look halfway decent with makeup and my sort of okay-looking hair I walked back into my room and got dressed. I looked into my full-length mirror as I put on my black wedged boots to match my long sleeve black skater dress. I didn't want to dress too fancy and plus it was kind of chilly out so I wanted to at least be kind of warm. When I was done I grabbed my keys and drove to the party fashionably late, which was a nice convenience.

I walked into the house and the smell of alcohol and sweat wafted into my nose, along with the sound of cheering and ridiculously loud music that reverberated through my ears, every beat pulsing almost painfully. I managed to squeeze through all the dancing and gyrating bodies and make it to the kitchen, where I'll drink all of my stress and sorrow away.

I just wanted to forget. For one night.

I headed straight for the vodka and mixed it with some soda that I found unopened in the fridge to lessen the bitter taste. Taking a big gulp of the concoction, I headed out to find Lisanna and Levy

It proved to be a challenging feat, between the huge crowds of people that made me nervous and the guys walking around drunkenly looking for a quick lay. There were couples literally ripping each other's clothes off on a few couches and I had to look away before I entered uncharted territory. But one pair really caught my eye, and let's just say I was everything but happy at the situation.

An all too familiar pinkette was leaning against the red painted walls, whispering in some girls ear who was beyond drunk. She kept giggling at everything Natsu said and he kissed her a few times on the neck. I narrowed my eyes at the two and the grip on my red solo cup tightened.

Natsu eventually caught my eye in his peripheral vision and smirked slightly, immediately crashing his mouth onto the redhead's, who responded eagerly, and slipping his hands under her short skirt. Downing my drink in one go, I knew exactly who to go to.

I searched the area until my eyes landed on Sting's blonde and distinct hair and headed straight toward him. He seemed surprised that I was approaching him but smirked as he crossed his arms.

"Can't get enough of me, huh?" He asked.

"Shut up, jackass," I said while placing my palms on his cheeks and moving his head to me so his lips met mine. His hands gripped my hips and my back was met with the wall as he reached up and cupped my thighs, lifting me up. I crossed my legs around his waist and parted my mouth a little more, allowing his tongue to sneak in. I was already regretting doing this, and the thought of stopping and going home nagged me at the back of mind, but I ignored it and feigned a moan when Sting started palming my breast through my dress. The make out session soon turned uncomfortable to me, especially when he started carrying me up the stairs to search for an empty bedroom. On our way up, I caught the icy glare of Natsu and averted my eyes, hating myself for what I was doing.

I yelped when he threw me on the bed roughly after closing the bedroom door behind us and started kissing me again. My hands were itching to push him off, but I didn't. Which was my biggest mistake tonight, besides drinking alcohol while I'm back on my anxiety medication.

He took his shirt off and slid his hands up my legs under my dress, and I knew I wanted to stop.

He started kissing my neck again, but I pulled away. "Sting," I started.

"Shh," he whispered, hiking my dress to my waist exposing my underwear.

"We should stop." I said urgently, pulling my dress back down. He grabbed my wrists with one hand and held them above my head, moving my clothes back to where he wanted them. "Stop." I said more firmly, making him pause.

"I've waited too long to do this again, and one word isn't going to make me wait longer." He continued with his assault, taking my clothes off while I struggled under his grip and body weight. I started to scream for help but he gagged me with his shirt, my wrists still trapped in his hands. Tears started leaking from my eyes and I completely shut down, whimpering with every kiss and every move he made. He squeezed my hips, which would definitely bruise, as he did what he wanted to me.

It was one of the worst nights of my life, no one coming to my rescue.

 **( • ~ • )**

 **This was actually a little longer than normal, hope you appreciate that :)**

 **So I'm going to be blunt here and say that rape happens everywhere and all the time in the real world. I was hesitant to go down this route because of how sensitive the topic is but I let it go for you guys.**

 **Just don't leave a bunch of hate about how "unrealistic" it might be or how Lucy would never stop fighting. I know she wouldn't, but this is a fanfiction, not the anime, and her character doesn't have to be a carbon copy. She's still Lucy, just a little more "low-spirited" because of the weight and stress of everything.**

 **So if you want to, leave a review and tell me your thoughts on the direction of this story :)**

 **See you later, My Poptarts~**


	12. Chapter Nine

Chapter Nine

 **Thank you guys for the feedback! It really helps a lot to know that you guys are enjoying the story as terrible as it is xd**

 **Here's chapter nine :)**

 **( • ~ • )**

I squeezed my eyes shut with tears streaming down my cheeks as Sting got up and put his clothes on. My body ached and I had a headache from crying so much. He had put my clothes back on when he was done, but I never moved or said a word. I could feel his cold gaze on my figure but I refused to look at him.

I refused to look at such a monster.

"See you Monday," he said with a chuckle and left the room, closing it behind him.

My breathing grew heavy at the stuffy room and I moved to get up, but the room was spinning and I felt dizzy, bumping into the nightstand next to the bed. I managed to stand up, but by then I was hyperventilating and I couldn't move, my chest aching with panic. Flashbacks of the incident replayed in my mind on repeat and I found myself sinking to the floor with my back pressed to the bed. My legs pulled up to my chest and my arms wrapped around them, trying to control my breathing. I tried to distract myself by thinking about my dad and how well he might be doing but my labored breaths continued for what felt like hours.

When I finally calmed down and my chest stopped hurting, I stretched out my legs on the floor and stared at the wall in front of me. I'm sure my dad will be pleased to know that my panic attacks are back.

After a few minutes of thinking and sitting there, I got up slowly. The urge to puke grew as the room continued to spin around me and I knew it was the alcohol and the medication mixing. How stupid can I be?

It probably took me about five minutes to make it to the door but I did and stepped out, the music blaring in my ears once again. People from my school were still dancing without a care in the world, oblivious to the events that took place right above them. I made my way down the stairs slowly, pausing after each step to gather my bearings.

I walked outside and headed straight for my car, glad that I managed to remember my keys and purse that was on the bedside table in the room. It's probably not a good idea to drive in my state, but I was far from drunk after only drinking one cup of vodka, and it was mixed with soda. The worst thing to happen would be getting dizzy during the drive but the clenching of my stomach had lessened considerably.

The drive on the way to the hospital was bearable. Nothing happened and I was completely safe. Now the only thing to do was report what happened and hopefully get Sting arrested. I had sobered up on the drive there since it was about an hour away, so I wouldn't get in trouble for underage drinking.

Well, I hope not.

I made my way inside and up to the receptionist who asked if I was there to see my dad. "I...I was r-raped." I flinched at the word and the woman's eyes widened, immediately assigning me a room and calling for the police and a nurse. I changed into my gown and put my clothes in a plastic bag as instructed. After sitting on the hospital bed, a nurse came in and led me to a room where she could assess the damage and take DNA samples.

It was a long and uncomfortable process, taking about three hours total. I was laying on the bed watching the news when a doctor came in with my dad in a wheelchair and an IV next to him. The doctor rolled him next to me and I immediately got up and hugged him, sobbing into his shoulder. He rubbed my back and didn't ask any questions, which I was thankful for.

Who knew I would feel even worse.

 **( • ~ • )**

I was slipping.

Dark thoughts clouded my mind as I lay on my bed, trying to fall asleep for school tomorrow. The events two nights ago left me in a daze and I just felt empty. Everything was being taken away from me and all I could do was stand by and watch. I was falling back into my dark place, and there was no one to help me out of it.

 **[A/N: If you go listen to Million Years Ago by Adele, it fits this really well :3]**

I rolled over and took my leg out from under the covers so I could cool off. It was pretty hot in the house with the heat on, but thankfully my fan was helping. The phone started ringing and I groaned in annoyance, wondering who was calling at midnight.

I got up reluctantly and answered the phone, rubbing my eyes. "Hello?"

 _"Lucy Heartfilia?"_ The lady asked.

"This is she." I said slowly.

 _"This is Magnolia Hospital calling about your father."_

My heart stopped. "W-What happened?" When she answered I dropped the phone in shock, my heart beating faster.

"N-No..."

He died.

He fucking died on _their_ watch.

Anger coursed through me as I picked up the phone and hurled it to the opposite wall, making it break into pieces. I ripped the telephone cord at the wall and threw it on the ground, causing it to break as well. I flipped the table where the phone was placed on its side and the vase of flowers crashed onto the floor spilling water everywhere. I was yelling throughout my destruction with tears pouring down my face.

Collapsing on the floor in a sobbing mess, I curled myself into a ball and cried.

The lady told me his lungs filled with fluid, suffocating him from the inside. By the time they drained all of it, they were unable to revive him, his heart stopping completely.

Why does everybody leave me?

My mom left me when I was ten in a car crash, which was because of me, and I ended up being depressed for years.

Natsu left when everything was starting to look brighter, and it was because of me being so damaged.

And my dad left, because I wasn't there to help him.

Everybody leaves because of me.

 _What's wrong with me?_

 **( • ~ • )**

 **Heavy chapter, huh?**

 **This was kind of what I was talking about with the depression and angst, so don't say I didn't warn you.**

 **I'll allow you guys to scream at me in your reviews, just try not to call me a bitch or anything xD**

 **See you later, My Poptarts~**


	13. Chapter Ten

Chapter Ten

 **Your reviews honestly make my day; maybe I'm sensitive or something but when I see a review telling me how much they like my story and how good it is it makes me want to cry xd**

 **I love you guys so much.**

 **Okay, moving on from the sappy shit. I will be putting trigger warnings in the beginning of chapters with heavy stuff, like this one :)**

 **Please don't read this if it'll influence you. I'm really nervous about this whole chapter because I don't think it's accurate and it doesn't portray the right feelings. After you guys read, please let me know if there's anything I missed :)**

 **( • ~ • )**

 *****TRIGGER WARNING*****

I stared at my unopened pack of razors that sat on the edge of the sink, my wrists hot and itchy. I'd been clean for years, but it was like they were calling out to me, like when you're in a supermarket and you know you shouldn't buy a slice of cake, but you want to. That's exactly how I feel right now, except I know I'll regret it later. But regret wasn't on my mind right about now. I want an escape; a release.

I hadn't been to school in about three weeks, and with the incessant calls from who I knew were Levy and Lisanna, I decided to go back to school Monday. Which was tomorrow.

Mavis help me.

I just want to be alone, honestly. I don't want to talk to anybody, and I haven't since that night I cried myself to sleep on the floor. I don't want to deal with my friends badgering me with questions. I don't want to hear about Sting and his arrest from yesterday (took them about two weeks to gather evidence and get an arrest warrant). And I definitely don't want to see Natsu making out with his whore-of-the-week.

I looked at the person in the mirror with blank eyes. Her skin was ghostly pale. Cheeks hollow from not eating in a couple days. Dark bags under her lifeless brown eyes. Limp and pale blonde hair that lost its color and fullness. The girl in front of me wasn't Lucy. She couldn't be. But as I looked in those dark eyes, I realized it was the broken and empty Lucy.

The Lucy from a long time ago has made a reappearance.

I took one of the blades out of the plastic and twisted it in my hands, examining it. It was brand new, sharp and pointed. Bracing it against my arm, palm facing up, I slid it across my skin, wincing at the stinging pain it brought. Blood trickled down my wrist and into the sink. It was a deep, burgundy red, reminding me of the car accident that took my mother from me. There was so much blood.

I should've died that day.

I should've died when a truck ran into us head one, shattering the windshield and activating the air bags. I should've died when I hit my head against the dashboard and was knocked out instantly.

I should be with her right now.

But I'm not, and now my dad's gone too. A few days ago I told the doctors, after taking a final glance at his body, that I wanted him cremated. There was no use for a funeral since there wasn't any family around, or friends for that matter. And I needed to save as much money as I could for what I will need later on, which is something my dad told me one day. He told me not to waist money on anything that seemed futile.

After cutting my wrist a few more times absentmindedly, I snapped out of my daze and looked at the wound in horror, tears leaking out of my eyes. I ran some water over it from the sink and grabbed gauze out of the cabinet, tightly wrapping it around the area. It still stung a little bit, but I was used to it by now.

The phone started ringing again and I gritted my teeth in annoyance. Walking out into my room I answered my cell phone with a snappy, "What?"

 _"Finally you answer! You haven't been to school in weeks! Is everything okay?"_ Lisanna asked.

"Everything's fucking peachy, just decided to, you know, take a break in the middle of the fucking year and go to Paris." The sarcasm was heavy.

 _"O-Okay, I was just worried..."_

"Yeah? Well stop worrying," I snapped and disconnected the call, throwing my phone back on the bed. I didn't mean to say that or sound rude, but it just came out that way. This is exactly what happened when my mom died, I pushed everybody away with a cold shoulder. I didn't want their sympathy.

 **( • ~ • )**

I woke up late the next morning with a migraine.

I've felt this one coming for a few days because of how sensitive my eyes were getting to light and immediately knew what it was. Of course, it had to come the day I go back to school. Today's going to be fun.

Since I slept past my alarm, I skipped out on the makeup and put sunglasses on to hide my bags and a hoodie to cover my wrists. My teachers knew of my migraines so they know when I have my sunglasses on not to tell me to take them off or call on me during class.

I'm hoping Levy and Lisanna will buy the "I'm still sick" excuse for my attire, if I happen to talk to them at all. Honestly, I was thinking about avoiding them for a while just so I won't have to deal with nonsense. All we seem to talk about lately is the stupid HP. I'm pretty sure that whole thing is over now.

I wonder how Natsu reacted when I hadn't returned to school after my supposed one night stand with Sting, and how he will react when I come back.

Probably just ignore me again.

The less people I have to talk to, the better.

I walked into school with my head down and my hood up to keep people from greeting me, which surprisingly worked. I went into the bathroom and hid out until the late bell rung to avoid bumping into Levy and Lisanna who usually wait for me by my locker.

I slowly crept out of the bathroom into the hallway and walked up to my locker, grabbing my things out of it. As I turned to go to my class, I squealed at the sight of Natsu standing there with his arms crossed. "You've been gone a while."

My head was pounding by now so I subbed my temples. "If you're going to speak to me, do it quietly please. I have a headache."

He rolled his eyes and walked by me, bumping my shoulder and whispering, "Slut."

No.

He isn't going to insult me on something that he knows nothing about.

So I did the weirdest thing. I started laughing.

It was hysterical and filled the hallway. Hopefully none of the teachers heard me. Natsu turned around in shock and scowled at me. I continued laughing, irritation and defeat in my voice with tears dripping out of my eyes. They weren't from laughter, they were from sadness. A sadness that I didn't know I had.

Wiping my eyes and taking off my sunglasses, I looked at Natsu's onyx ones. "You wanna know why Sting got arrested two days ago?" He nodded slowly. I smiled. "That Saturday when you saw us go upstairs, he raped me."

He froze in shock with wide eyes and I chuckled darkly. "I was going to do it," I continued. "But when I got up there I told him to stop two times. _Two times._ But he continued to assault me and took what he wanted, telling me that he wasn't going to _wait_ anymore." My voice broke after that last sentence. My breathing grew heavy and chest felt tight as flashbacks of that night replayed in my mind. Sting's face hovering over me.

"Lucy-"

"And you know what else?" I cut him off. "My dad dies _two_ fucking days later. Great fucking weekend, am I right? Now I don't have anymore family, 'cause my mom died years ago in a car crash. I'm all alone now." I was trying to distract myself from a panic attack, but the dizziness was already starting and I couldn't move an inch. Nausea filled my stomach.

"Maybe this is a sign," I started after a moment of silence. "Maybe this is the universe telling me that it's my time to go, too; to go visit my family."

"Lucy, don't do this-"

"I want my mom back," I started sobbing. "I want to see her and my dad again. I don't want to be in _pain_ anymore. I want it to go away." I was hyperventilating by this point, and I started seeing double. Two Natsu's looked at me with pain in their eyes. "Maybe I should just die..." I collapsed onto the tiled floor, and the last thing I heard was Natsu calling my name.

 **( • ~ • )**

There was beeping again.

My headache lessened considerably, but I still opened my eyes slowly to adjust to the bright lighting in the white hospital room. I've become so familiar with this hospital that I realized I was in the exact same room my dad was in. Great thing to wake up to.

An IV was stuck in my arm, and the blankets were pulled up to my chest. There was a tray of unopened and uneaten food sitting next to me along with an apple juice box. My eyes trailed upward and stopped on Natsu sitting in a chair watching me carefully. I immediately looked away. "How long have I been here?" I asked quietly.

He blinked slowly as he stared at me. "Only a day."

Tension filled the room and it was suffocating. I hated being treated like this. Being treated like the broken girl I am, and not the Lucy I was before everything happened.

"Why're you still here?" I asked, looking back at him.

"It's not everyday that you talk to someone and they faint from a panic attack."

I bit my lip and stared at my hands, twiddling my thumbs.

"Lucy, I'm so sorry," Natsu said. "I didn't know about Sting and your dad and I acted like a dick-"

"No, you didn't know," I countered. "And let's pretend that you don't. Please leave."

"Lucy, please don't push me away," he was kneeling by my bed now.

"I'll do whatever I want, now leave." I was aware that I was acting like a bitch, but I don't want anybody's sympathy, and I definitely don't need help.

"Lucy, they found fresh cut marks on your wrist and a bunch of scars on the other." I flinched at his words. "I want to help you through this."

"I don't need your _fucking_ help! _Get out!"_ I scream at him and a nurse came in, immediately making him leave and assessing my vitals.

When I was alone, I rolled over in the bed and buried my head in the pillow, silently crying myself to sleep.

 **( • ~ • )**

 ***sighs* I hate writing this stuff, it breaks my heart. But this is pushing my boundaries, and I need to do that in order to grow as a writer.**

 **I hope this doesn't make anybody else fall into a bad place, because this is not what that's for. If you need to talk to someone, please do it. Even if it's from someone online. Even if it's me, I will be here :)**

 **See you later, My Poptarts~**


	14. Chapter Eleven

Chapter Eleven

 **Hellooo ;)**

 **Thank you guys for the feedback. I guess that chapter went well overall. I'm sorry if some of you read that before going to school though xd**

 **Here's chapter eleven.**

 **( • ~ • )**

I spent the next three days in the hospital, placed on seventy-two hour suicide watch because of my wrists. Fun.

Natsu, Lisanna, and Levy tried to visit me, but I told the nurse that I didn't want to see anyone so they haven't let them enter the room, albeit reluctantly. The nurse I've known since I was little was trying to convince me to go to rehab since my self-harming relapsed, but I'm very determined to say no. I've been there once, and I don't want to go there again.

The said nurse walked in and smiled at me, which I returned. "Good evening, Lucy. How are you feeling?" She had a very thick British accent that I found pretty endearing.

"Hey, Melinda. I'm doing okay."

"I know that you are not going to be happy with what I am about to say, but I have a proposal for you." I nodded slowly with narrowed eyes. "Since you are adamant on not going to the rehabilitation center, I want to suggest that you start visiting your therapist again."

I started to protest, but she raised her hand for me to stop and walked over to my bed, sitting in the chair next to it. "I know you don't want to go, and I know how hard it was the first time around. But you need help, Lucy. And if you don't want to go to rehab, go to the therapist at least once a week."

"But-"

"Please Lucy. It hurts to see you this way." She pleaded. I looked into her deep blue eyes with a frown. They were glossy, as if she was going to start crying.

I sighed, defeated. "Okay." Melinda immediately hugged me tightly and I hugged her back, closing my eyes.

When we pulled away, a grin crept on her face. "Natsu is also standing outside the room."

I scowled at the name. "Really, Melinda?"

She rolled her eyes. "That boy cares about you. There is no reason to push him away because of your own insecurities. I'll send him in."

I bit my lip. I swear she knows me better than anyone. She's also the only person I would give in to when it comes to things like this. On that note, I didn't say a word as Natsu stepped in with a small smile. "Hey." He said cautiously.

"Hi," I mumbled, not meeting his eye. "Don't expect me to talk to you while you're in here." That came out harsher than I wanted.

Thankfully he just chuckled and sat down next to me. "I'll do the talking, then."

And that's exactly what he did.

 **( • ~ •)**

The next morning I was back at school, and not in a good mood. I had an appointment with my therapist today and I was expecting the worst.

Opening my locker and organizing my things, Levy and Lisanna came up to me with angry auras. "We were worried sick about you!" They said in unison.

I rolled my eyes. "Your point is?"

"Why didn't you let us visit you? Why were you in there in the first place?" Levy questioned.

"I didn't come to school today to be interrogated, _Levy_." She flinched at my annunciation.

"So is the HP off?" Lisanna asked.

"Why is everything about the fucking HP? I just got out the fucking hospital and you want me to worry about getting with somebody else?"

"I didn't mean-" She started.

"Yes you did!" I snapped. "All you're worried about is Natsu this, Natsu that. He did this, and he did that. _Nobody fucking cares_. But you obviously don't understand that, so let me break it down for you. You fucked him because you wanted to and you are very aware of his playing ways. Yet, you thought you could change him or some shit or that you were special. Well news flash, _you aren't_. So talk to me again when you want to talk about something else." With that, I slammed my locker closed and walked away, ignoring the pain in my chest when I saw tears in Lisanna's eyes.

I really thought that what Melinda said would help me stop pushing people away and lashing out at people. Apparently not.

I know I should apologize, but I was just so angry that all they cared about was me breaking Natsu's heart. And after everything that happened, I don't want to do it anymore. It's exhausting and I have enough to deal with as it is.

After my first two classes I was sitting in the courtyard eating lunch by myself, which didn't go unnoticed by the student body. Confused looks we're sent my way, silently asking why I wasn't sitting next to Levy and Lisanna, who were sitting at a table far away from mine.

Considering what I said this morning, I knew I shouldn't sit by them anymore. Too many words were said, and too many feelings were hurt. At this point I don't even know if we're still friends. I wouldn't be surprised if we weren't.

When I started eating the yogurt I packed for lunch, Natsu sat at my table with a tray of the school's food. I raised and eyebrow at him but he didn't look up, prompting me to speak. "Why're you here? It's pretty obvious that I want to eat alone." I gestured to the empty seats surrounding us.

He shrugged. "You looked lonely."

"Don't expect me to speak to you." I mumbled, continuing to eat.

"So I heard about the argument you and your friends had. What was that about?" I ignored him. "That was a test to see if you would say something, I heard most of it." I stiffened in my seat. Did he hear us talking about him? "I think you treated them unfairly."

"Are you suggesting that you treat people fairly?" I countered.

He furrowed his eyebrows.

"You bang girls on the daily and throw them away. Not exactly fair treatment, I'd say."

"Coping mechanism." He answered curtly.

"A bit sadistic, don't you think? Your happiness derives from the pain of those girls wanting your attention."

"You don't know what you're talking about, so stop it." He clenched his jaw.

"You sat here, deal with it." I narrowed my eyes. "Let me take this further. You like the attention, don't you? All those girls that practically bow down to you and grovel at your feet. You think about how to break their hearts all the time. _One. By. One._ "

He clenched his fists and squeezed his eyes shut. " _Stop_ ," he said forcefully.

But I didn't. "You think the whole world revolves around you and your supposed good looks. That you can get anything you want by fucking your way to the top. Well that's not how it _fucking_ works!"

"Shut up!" He screamed. The courtyard grew silent. "Shut the fuck up! You know nothing, okay? Ms. Know It All, you think you have me figured out, huh? Well you don't. There are other people suffering out there other than you so get off your fucking high horse and open your goddamn eyes. You don't know _anything_."

"But I do know that you're an incompetent asshole."

He shook his head, picked up his tray, and left. Leaving me with tears in my eyes.

I ruin everything I touch.

 **( • ~ •)**

 **I know Levy and Lisanna are OOC, but book characters aren't supposed to be perfect and not have anything wrong with them. This'll be a bit of a learning curve for them character development wise so you'll see that once those three reconcile.**

 **So Natsu has some secrets too, huh?**

 **You'll find out eventually ;)**

 **See you later, My Poptarts~**


	15. Chapter Twelve

Chapter Twelve

 **Sorry about the week late update, I've been writing a lot lately and I wanted a break. Plus, I'm in high school and I've been working on my grades.**

 **I'm also sorry about the lack of replies to reviews, I've been really busy with volunteering and things and also have been really tired. But this is how I'll make up for it :)**

 **Chapter Twelve, here we go.**

 **( • ~ • )**

"So why are you here today, Ms. Heartfilia?"

"Cut the crap, Sue. Don't go all therapist on me," I rolled my eyes.

She smiled. "Isn't that my job?"

"Unfortunately," we both laughed.

"But really, what happened?" She asked after she sobered up.

"Didn't Melinda tell you already? She is your sister, you know."

"I want to hear it from you. So please, give me every detail of your life and I'll analyze it with my old lady glasses."

I laughed. Sue was an old friend of my mom's before she died, and since she was a therapist my dad had this great idea to take me to her for my depression. She certainly helped as she doesn't act all high and mighty. She understands you and doesn't treat you like you're crazy. "I relapsed a couple days ago." I looked down at my hands resting on my thighs.

"Self-harm?" I nodded silently. "Tell me what happened that day."

I told her how my father died two weeks prior, to which she sent her condolences, and how I was raped by a boy at school, and how he had been arrested. I was an emotional train wreck when I was done.

"I would say sorry, but I know you hate that, so I'll say that that sucks." I chuckled again. "It seems as though you've had a rough few months, or life." I grunted at life. "And by turning and pushing your friends away, you don't have the support you need. Did you happen to apologize to this Natsu?" I shook my head. "That'll be the first step."

"But Sue, that whole relationship is built on a fucking lie. He called me a slut. I don't think that's the type of support I need when I'm already down and he's just kicking me."

"That boy cares about you," she sounds like Melinda. "He cared enough to take you, hell, visit you in the hospital. He called you that name based off of a misunderstanding, which isn't excuse at all, but he stayed." My breath hitched. "And from what I can tell, he will stay with you for a long, long time."

 **( • ~ • )**

The house is always empty now.

The halls are quiet, the rooms collecting dust, and I swear there's a spider running around here somewhere. I won't be sleeping in my room for a while.

I remember how I always wanted to be alone during my early teenage years, didn't want any friends over or have my dad near me at all. I wanted to stay in my room and be alone. I guess I took my family for granted, because now I hate the silence.

After saying goodbye to my parent's pictures I left the house in the cold winter air, wearing a pink sweater and jeans. I decided on tan boots today so I could wear my fuzzy socks. My toes needed to be warm.

I thought about what Melinda said about how I should apologize to Natsu, and I was really considering it. I said some horrible things and was way out of line, and reconciling with him was so appealing in that I realized I had a tiny crush on him. But I knew that my baggage and damaged past would get in the way of a relationship, so being friends is what we should probably stick to.

I made my way to the side of the school, knowing that's where he'd be. Class was in session, but I had no plans going today, which I explained to my counselor that there'll be some days where I just won't feel emotionally able to go into a public setting, which he understood. Natsu wouldn't be in class because, well, he's Natsu.

Speaking of the devil, he was sitting on the grass, leaning against the wall smoking a cigarette. I tried not to be angry at the thought of how much he smokes and how many people it kills.

I know he hears me coming, but he insists on ignoring me and continues to blow smoke out of his mouth, staring off into space. I didn't bring my backpack because I wouldn't be going inside, so I just sat down criss-cross beside him, sighing quietly.

We sat there for a moment in silence. It wasn't uncomfortable, actually. It was nice to have some company in place of my empty house. "I'm sorry," I finally said.

He didn't say anything.

My eyes started clouding with tears but I blinked them back. "I would tell you my life story and why I'm so fucked up and stupid and fucking horrible for what I said, but it's too early for that. But I will tell you this." He still didn't speak. "The reason I told you to stop smoking and how pathetic it is before, is because," I took a breath, "my dad died from lung cancer."

His breath hitched.

"He started smoking when my mom died, which is a story for another day. Ended up with lung cancer around three years ago. I had to step up and take care of him and his medication, which lasted until about three weeks ago, obviously."

"I'm s-" he tried to speak.

"No," I stopped him. "Don't say sorry, Natsu. That isn't the reason why I'm telling you this. I'm telling you, because I want you to forgive me for how horrible I've been." My voice broke. "Gosh I'm so sorry. All the horrible things I said to you when I don't even know anything about you, I'm so fucking terrible." I sobbed into my hands. I wasn't even crying about him. This was all the emotions built up over the past few days combined with my supposed depression Sue diagnosed me with at the end of our session.

I felt an arm wrap around me and a hand move my head to his shoulder where I continued to cry. Natsu's hand arm gently and leaned his head against mine.

"Well, I know one thing," he started to say. "I do know that you're not horrible, and I do know that no matter what you think, your father's death was not your fault." He saw right through me. "And I also know that you are the strongest person I've met. Sometimes, you need to be broken down in order to stand taller."

It was in that moment that I knew, that this was more than a crush.

 **( • ~ • )**

 **Hope you guys liked it, I should be able to update next week so there'll be no problem there.**

 **Let me know what you think in a review :)**

 **See you later, My Poptarts~**


	16. I'm sorry

**I'm so, so, _so_ sorry . **

**I told you guys I would update, and I didn't. Seems to be happening too often, huh?**

 **I don't want to give you guys excuses. I've been on a writing dry spell and when I do have free time, I tend to want to play Sims and Pokémon rather than write. Writing hasn't been my go-to stress reliever. Not to mention my grades aren't where they should be.**

 **So I don't know when I'll be back writing again (dejá vu). If I do come back, there'll be very sporadic updates indefinitely.**

 **I'll also be deleting some of the stories I spontaneously started, not including this one.**

 **I'm sorry.**


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